Not so Grateful

Every six months I go to the dentist for a regular check up and a teeth cleaning. I'm always excited to go...IDK call me a geek. But it's just something about that shiny, polished feeling, hearing the hygienist tell me that I take great care of my teeth, all these wonderful compliments. I so love that about going to the dentist.

Today there was a new girl, or at least she was new to me. She was smiley and chatty from the start of mispronouncing my name. Given the fact that I've had this mouth all my life, I'm pretty familiar with it. So for you to say oh wow you have all of your teeth, what the heck is your shock and dismay? Yes. I have them all, even the ones that the dentist has done some surgery on, lol. Did you think when I opened my mouth that half of my teeth would be gone? Would it have made you feel better to know that you made me feel good by cleaning the few teeth I had left? Sorry to burst your bubble sweety. I have them all, and they all mine!

To further decrease my interest in her presence, she wanted to have a conversation. Maam...how do you expect me to carry on a conversation with you? You have tools in my mouth. Every time you ask me a question, you have to stop what you're doing to give me the opportunity, that I don't want in the first place, to answer your question.

To add insult to injury, she was not gentle in the least. It felt as though she was trying to reach my esophagus and clean that too. At the end when she told me I had long roots and it meant I would have my teeth forever, I understood. She was trying to get down beneath my roots. Too damn rough lady!

And when it was all said and done, she covered me in compliments of how well I take care of my teeth. Lady, I'm surprised I have any teeth left after the way to jugged and bulldozed around in my mouth. I am grateful that my teeth  feel great, they are clean and shiny again. But I'm not so grateful that she tried to end my life by reaching for my kidneys through my jaws...not so grateful at all.

~Veracious Virgo